The Dawn of Ecstasy’s Dreaming – Page 5

by on August 11, 2023 at 11:35 pm
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I shared a bit of what’s been coming up for me with this Dharmic Sci-Fi Fantasy narrative with Santosha Ma, perhaps how I could still serve but without over-extending myself like poor ole Red C in the above; How I could instead just get it all off my chest, the meeting of hidden work that seemed to catch me by surprise and manifest over the year, and somehow still dance my dance (see last chapter), not that of those who wish to obstruct the flow out of reactive fear.  I wondered if I was being too coy and coded previously, and so was glad to share a bit with the lovely and wise Santosha Ma while on a walk with her last night.  I stammered in my descriptions of what I was up to– communicating with so and so (you know who you are)– but then forwarded her a bit.

“Very good. I suppose all teachings are given in code to the unaware seeker, but once seen are so obvious!,” the text from my guru, Santosha Ma, popped up on my phone.

“God! I remember (once) looking at you as though you had two heads, me swearing the earth was flat, and you never balking.” I wrote back.

“Yes! Persistence will eventually meet growth.” She said.

Grinning from that, I find myself picking up where I left off, enjoying a morning coffee, imagining Santosha Ma enjoying her travels, and enjoying my own expression of enjoyment in offering a vantage point window from where I sit, the emerging Hue Truetell in the ever changing school of the Nadthsade.

8.16.2023 (written while in the cCare lobby in Fresno)

I’m really happy to finally, actually be blogging on this site. I’ve been trying to think why it is I never did for the six years tantric series/ Diamond eyes has been live.

Things take time. We grow as we go. I don’t take it as a coincidence though that the collaborative line up has had an effect.

Working with new artists (Geoffrey Mosse, Patrick Hdz, Joan Igawa, Francis Salipenda, and, you know what even Jerry Decair [god bless his difficult soul]) has been great, a lesson on how much more I can enjoy a collaboration, and thusly get done.

Never take it for granted how the presence or absence of a one in your life prevents you from expressing yourself, speaking your truth, because the fact is (as I learn and grow) it can come to a great shock to us all how those close to us, or rather those we granted a place in our heart, do not want you to enjoy your voice, to grow, to succeed.

They may not speak openly with actual words but rather, in the fuddy dud of their wobbly withholding, and with the chaotic subtle code of impressionistic daggers where they’d rather not fully acknowledge your work, the light of your life— that which reveals you to You.

Instead they would rather you feel a little crazy for loving yourself so much, and goddamn it, they just ain’t going to let you get away with such a conceited and selfish activity (Self love), as they do you the service to bring you back (down) to reality, as they let your mutual friends know how off you are as they take you down a peg and reel you back to the real world, the one where you fit in their little box.

People suck, right Red?

When people like that leave the room of your life, the air gets a bit cleaner, the bandwidth wider and suddenly you realize they had just been the very vampire you needed rid of as your vision returns to you more fully, no longer haggard by the psychic impressions of doubting minds and haters.

“I really love my work! I feel more that it’s a good work,”  I said to Santosha Ma, as she sat on the couch across from mine. She came by to visit me at the cottage. We were regrouping, summarizing, a few good talks, all after a weekend of sharing our dreams and impressions to get clear on a few things, (vampire hunting).

I love these kinds of talks with her.

“You just have to silence the voices that will have you doubt it (My work)”

This world (harsh realm) is chock full of enough negative energy to suppress you in order for you to get with the mindless and unconscious program that makes you the fall guy (girl) for others self important dreams. It’s so much so that it is a cliché to even mention it! Better to let a comic book do the work for you.

Red C, and I are standing our ground, and wearing necklaces of garlic.