Some Fractured, Contrasting Lines of Generating and Manifesting

by on April 12, 2024 at 10:31 am
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Some Fractured, Contrasting Lines of Generating and Manifesting

What a time! It’s funny how only when you begin to feel more like yourself, do you realize what you’ve been through or endured. We left off on my getting covid right after all the radiation business, which strangely was eclipsed as my concern was related more toward de-phlegm-ing rather than with the sheer toxicity from five weeks of a morning photon cocktail.  It took a great deal more out of me than I realized as I walked down the street on my break at work and smiled in feeling sun on my face and the freshness of the air.

I’m drying up though, getting more over covid, and waking up in the am reaching for something that I seemed to forget. I mean what was it all about– all these creative threads I kicked off before and during the healing since November. I worried I’d never remember its rhythm. I still do.

I sometimes open my journal up, and just blank out. It annoys me. The generator aspect of mySelf being told to shut up by my manifester aspect.

Santosha Ma and I talked together on the cold April 6, Saturday am. I came up to her house with mop bucket in hand– swabbing the deck, and her art piece of tiles in the walkway.

It was freezing outside, in the thirties. We started talking about creativity, namely A.I. art.

“Let’s get out in the sun,” Dear Santosha said, and so I followed her out where the sun poured down on the stonework of the patio by the garage.

The mountains in the distance were full of snow. Santosha Ma mused how not much snowmelt occurred this season yet, a good thing.

I had been belly-aching about certain attitudes… out there regarding A.I. art, fear, snobbery, misplaced conceits whatever you want to throw on the canvass to tell the story of making a big hub-bub about the tool.

“It’s all in the creativity for me,” Santosha Ma said explaining to me that with a human design of manifester, the more tools the better.

The way Santosha Ma described her own process let me to a certain a-ha, which was a certain realization of how and why I can be tortured in my own process as– being a manifesting generator– I am often times prone to interruptions in my flow and denied guarantees that I’ll complete something to expectation.   In other words, it’s my generator aspect opening my journal, while my manifester has no script for it to follow. It’s all, meh.

Santosha Ma called my attention to all the creativity in her yard. “Everything here was my idea, and I worked with the others to manifest it. That’s how it works. Your generator aspect always wants go go go, and that’s what generators like, a project.”

“And I suppose, I only like to do projects related to what I have to manifest.”

“Yes.”

And sometimes what must manifest is very long winded and peculiar. You, yourself may have no idea what it is, and how much of what was generated is truly apart of it. It is just an improvement upon it, until the deeper Self is satisfied. So these are the contrasting lines of both manifesting and generating.

And so the weeks have been spent on one hand,  wanting to go go go, but then on the other hand, “Let’s just chill till we feel more in sync with reality, eh?” Impulses diverging and connecting to serve a whole. So interesting.

Later that night I spoke with Prem about our learning this week. It’s always so nice to speak with someone so charged about sadhana.  It was nice to parallel, to see what I could approach with more humor and easy-goingness, vulnerability, as in our comparisons we both have to admit that really… nothing’s actually happening, only energy converging, diverging, and doing what it must according to the designs of Being authentically, loving Her shorthand, as we love knowing less!

And who are you?  Let’s remove the magic contact lens and strip off one more layer of the illusion.

What a great segue to this months comic page (more like the next)! So this morning I couldn’t seem to write and now we are covered, satisfied– nothing ever happening only granting Her authority to set the rhythm– beating as the heart.

 

A side note (end note?). I am currently working on a version of The Last Khoorlrhani Warrior with a royalty free soundtrack to remove any obstacle against monetizing “Dharmic Sci-fi Fantasy,” so if you’re interested in listening to the current version (the way I envisioned it) do head over there before I start decommissioning those chapters.